Self-Destructive, unproductive and otherwise problematic

I’m gonna be me

I’m gonna be free

I’m gonna be whatever it is I want to be

Unless that me is lazy

Unless he doesn’t learn

Unless he keeps talking when it’s someone else’s turn

I’m gonna be special

I’m gonna be unique

Unless that me can’t help but try and take a little peak

If I can’t be patient

Or take care of my health

I wonder what’s the benefit of tryna be myself?

Self-destructive, unproductive and otherwise problematic

Reinforcing these pathways that lead up to my attic

The things that make me jealous, angry, selfish and an addict

I just can’t help but ask “Why’s all this bad stuff automatic?”

Actually

Being rude comes naturally

I can be sarcastic, short, dismissive and reactively

Make it clear they bother me

I get that from my father, see?

There’s me blaming others when they don’t control what I will be

Now think if we…

Deny ourselves a little

Stop acting like we’re brittle

Honestly assess what sucks and don’t be so commital

The identity we think we need

Is full of hate and lust and greed

If that’s what makes up all I am

I’d like to be a different Sam